Wait for it...

Someday someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you've never seen. They'll look at you like you're everything they've been looking for all their lives. Wait for it.

The girl discovered this brief but ever more powerful message shortly before her descent into the valley... It was one of the reasons she chose to actually... One early spring night in the stillness she was reminded of this message in an encounter with the buzzard. He reminded her that he was not it... And just as gracefully as the winter frost had given way to the daffodils of spring, the buzzard took flight and made room in the girl's heart for that light that she had always been waiting for...

And just as the spider weaves her magnificent web, life was already writing the next chapter of her journey...

Lessons from the buzzard

His favourite bird was the buzzard he said... He would end up teaching her very valuable lessons about life, about love, about how to fight for what she believed in, and embracing her tears and vulnerability... He knew every bird in every tree and every tree in the forest. He would pick her flowers and take her places she had long wanted to explore. But of all the places, the one he knew best how to find was the now, the precious present moment. Coming from very different walks of life, seemingly headed towards opposite directions, when their flights crossed paths, the stillness in their encounters seemed to create never ending spaces and presence. Not knowing what tomorrow would bring made every moment a treasure. His feathers, the language he spoke unfamiliar to her eyes and ears and still, in those brief moments in the sky together, there was a feeling of arriving home together. He made her realise what a gift there was in the now and in honesty, and that all we could ever really promise each other was the fullest sense of being together right here right now, and there he was... And in those moments there were no other places in the world, just their sacred space, just their loving flight... She started learning how to let go of examining the past and building any expectation of the future, she let go of judging everything, of needing anything. All she kept was the gratitude towards every sunrise and the intention to appreciate what each one would bring into her life. Instead of wanting to fly thousands of miles in search of faraway peaks and the possibility of another eagle, he made her long for the simple things in life, like going strawberry picking with someone, like baking cookies in your pyjamas together, like admiring a sky filled with fireworks on bonfire night from her favourite place on the beach, like visiting the swans in the nearby lake and listening to the breeze in the trees or the gentle sound of the rain, like waking up with someone who was just as ready for life's everyday adventures as you are. Most of these things they never actually got to experience together, but he played a very strong part in creating the dream nevertheless...

From peak to haven

The first year was like one long spring, the flowers seemed to blossom all year round, the sun always seemed to be shining, the night sky forever clear and starry, it felt like autumn would never come... But it did, and autumn turned into winter and after a few autumns and winters, the girl waited in vain for spring to arrive again. It was as if everything had fallen into a winter slumber, the strawberry sky now cloudy and gray. The past had stolen their future. Too many things left unsaid, too many hurts unresolved, too many opportunities for joy unnoticed... And so many of the clouds covering their strawberry sky were not even their own, just remnants handed down to them from past generations, but in those cold cold nights it was impossible to see any of this clearly. They both tried so hard to paint the sky pink again, to tease the stars out and make the sun shine once more, but the clouds of guilt and disappointment and sadness were much too heavy to be blown away by the wind. The inevitable came one day; they both had to look down from the peak and start walking into the valley in opposite directions. The winds on the way down were bitter cold, the nights very dark and seemed to last forever and the memories of being on top of the world haunting every step of the journey, for a while... The girl found a haven in the middle of the woods, a tiny but warm and safe den, with trees and birds as guardians looking over her on those endless nights. And as the days passed those nights became shorter, the days longer and slowly, little by little she was able to look up at the sky and catch a glimpse of the sensation that the strawberry sky had given her many many winters ago. She would venture out day after day with her two four legged companions and explore her surroundings further and further until one day, a lovely hill overlooking the valley presented itself and begged her to climb up and sit under a tree that lived there. From that hill she was able to see all the wonders that her new found haven had brought into her life, her new neighbours, the robins and blackbirds, the magpies and crows, many two legged and four legged creatures who had all of a sudden entered her life and all added a drop of sunshine to her days. Sometimes on very special days she would spot a dear or two gliding across the heathlands and on very rare occasions a buzzard would present itself to her, gracefully soaring above the tall trees, or sometimes just gazing at her from a broken tree stump. In moments under the tree on the hill, the wind would whisper things to the girl, it would encourage her to rediscover her love of dancing, to revisit her passion for music and singing, to start writing down her adventures, to keep searching for joy and the Love that she had always been seeking in every place that brought happiness into her heart. Her dreams would also carry sacred messages telling her to reunite her body mind and spirit through the practice of yoga and to keep following the signs that were given to her. One day she met a wise old lady, who said to her that she should pay attention and that Love was going to enter her life while walking with her dogs one day. The prospect sounded exciting and filled her with hope, but after many seemingly lonely walks, with only the trees and the birds to converse with, the memory of what the lady had said started to fade... By this time the eagle in her was appearing more and more, guiding her on every step of her journey, reassuring her that she was on the right path, showing her ways to strengthen the wings that had suffered many blows in the storms from the recent past... One unknowing mid winters day, after many seemingly wrong turns on her wanderings, she ventured out yet again with her little friends to search for joy and something to admire in her surroundings, something to lighten up the January sky. On the road she stumbled across a bird of some kind. The eagle in her was definitely sending some kind of signal, but she found it difficult to decipher what the message was. All she could sense was that he was a bird of some sort and that somehow they might be flying towards the same destination for a while...

The story of the girl who found out she was an eagle...

She had been reminded a few years before that she was an eagle; that she loved to soar above the mountains and aim for the highest peaks, that she dreaded the idea of staying in the low valleys for too long; but she didn't believe it. She was too scared to show her strength, to stand out and spread her wings, show her true colours, her own Song. All her life she was looking for the love and approval of others to make life in the valleys more bearable; that's what happens when you ignore the calling of your spirit. From as far back a she can remember she tiptoed through life so that she wouldn't make any noise, so that she wouldn't upset anyone, always remembering to say thank you, sorry, twice in every sentence if possible, and when a little voice inside cried out and wanted to be heard, she would reach for whatever she could find to push it back down again. A cigarette, a chocolate, the possibility of another love letter on the horizon; she did everything she could to stifle that little voice, to make it go away... As the years passed, the need to be loved and nurtured became stronger and stronger, Love was calling out to her, so she started looking for it wherever she went... One day she came across a garden, a beautiful garden. The flowers and trees there were full of life and colour, the sweet scent of roses permeating the air, the leaves of every plant greener than she had ever seen before. It was always warm in this secret garden, a nurturing breeze always drifting through it. All the people and animals who would come to this garden were kind and peaceful, always happy to see her there, always ready to offer a gentle, encouraging word, a home-baked bite to eat, an invigorating stroll too discover this serene landscape. As the days and then years passed in this garden she started to get a sense of what it feels like to be home, to be at peace, to feel safe. These were precious years. But this garden, no matter how beautiful and peaceful, could not sing her Song for her, she realised she couldn't rely on it for the rest of her life. Something in her heart resonated deeply with the garden, but as the years passed another landscape started calling her away from this serenity, a passion, a fire, an energy so wild that she wouldn't even dare to dream of bringing that into this secret garden. She fought it for a long time, pretended it wasn't there. The spark would appear suddenly seemingly out of nowhere, but she kept telling herself that she needed to be grateful for this beauty and peace that she has found and she was determined to not let anything upset that peace, especially not something that was so deep and dark and scary, as she thought back then. The gardener was a kind and beautiful soul and taught her many many valuable lessons on how to be patient, how to nurture the plants, how to look after the ones that weren't well, how to be spontaneous and ready for adventure to explore new lands. He showed her a glimpse of what unconditional love might look like, what a quiet, sensible life might feel like, but their connection started to wither slowly as her passion started burning stronger and stronger and could no longer be ignored. They tried to rebuild that connection by flying off to faraway lands together, but she was realising more and more that life was calling her elsewhere, to find her other eagle as was later revealed to her. She opened the gate of the garden and stepped out, not having the slightest idea what the unknown would hold, where the road would lead, but trusting that the voice now growing stronger and stronger inside her was calling her somewhere worth going... She still remembers the feelings of emptiness and fear, fixed with an excitement at the prospect of freedom and a new sense of strength emerging from deep within. Her wings were a bit weak and rusty from staying closed for so long, but they were much stronger than she had expected. She started following the path that was unfolding in front of her and without realising it, those rusty wings had flown her to a stunning peak, one higher and more breathtaking than she had ever seen before. And there, perched upon that peak was her eagle, or so she thought. This must be him, no doubt she remembers thinking. The moment their eyes met, that passion that she had been stifling for so long came to life and filled every inch of her body and soul. A sense of familiarity filled the air, like recognising an old friend from long long ago, a sense of a deep, everlasting connection, an energy too irresistable to fight, all she could do was surrender to it and follow the calling and trust that she had chosen the right path. Their early days together were filled with magical adventures with so many shared passions, strawberry skies, the rhythm and power of African drums and exhilirating dancing, rediscovering their birthplaces together with fresh eyes, joyful cycling, running, playing, freedom to love, to move to sing, to appreciate music and films and arts and science, anything seemed possible in those days... This was everything she had ever been looking for, she couldn't even imagine it being any other way. The light in their eyes shining like the starriest night, like two shooting stars making their way across the sky towards each other. This is how it felt back then... ....

Happiness is in the journey, not the destination...

Rome is a magical place beyond any expectation. Every little corner you turn, every sound that catches your ear, every flavour you come across holds a treasure that takes you back to the feeling of being a child discovering the world with fresh eyes... the birth of a brand new day...

the strength in a beautiful friendship, having someone who walks beside you and appreciates exactly who you are...

the past coming to life..

trees reaching for the clear blue sky...

the hope of loving again...

feeling like you're on top of the world...

greeted by every little bird...

...and every flower...

Nero the cat who lives in the Colosseum...

grace and beauty wherever you glance...

feeling like someone's always looking over you...

your very own yellow brick road...

a pair of red high heels hanging from a rooftop, in case you get lucky ;)

stifling an inner giggle when a very kind and intelligent tour guide nevertheless manages to keep saying 'and now let's fucus on this monument...' :)

your very own chariot ready to fly you wherever you dream of going...

a mystery to resolve...

a light in the dark...

food that captivates your imagination and all of your senses...

signs that life is sweet...

a mother, a child and their angels watching over your journey...

a cosy terrace waiting for some rays of sun and two special people to light it up...

one cobble street after the other teasing you to explore where it leads you...

the essential prosecco, preferably for breakfast lunch and dinner ;)

someone to share your breakfast with...

a glimpse of the Pope's window...

some special guardians of the Vatican...

and some others...

the promise of peace and light...

a rainbow of hope..

mesmerising genius...

a 'golden apple' of which one ironically and miraculously survived the bombing of the 'Big Apple' on 9/11... not so surprising to me is the coincidence that the word 'alma' which means apple in Hungarian is the word for soul in Latin...

and the symbol that all things lead into one on our 'Camino'...

And if it is true that all roads lead to Rome, go and discover your own colours of it. I thought I was going to see the Colosseum and the Vatican, but ended up going off the map and exploring the journey called LIFE itself and madly falling in love with it all, every second of it :) Closing with the message on my tea cup that witnessed the writing of this entry: 'Enjoy life, it's delicious!' :)