11 years... when life gives you lemons

When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade they say... I haven't written lately because quite frankly no matter how great lemonade tastes, sometimes enough is enough! I've had a few weeks of exploring, making mistakes, self-doubting, weeping and now I'm ready to laugh at myself about it all. With my first basket of lemons (recently) I bought my caravan and embarked on this very unique and transformational journey of living more simply, waking up to birdsong and stargazing on your way to brushing your teeth. Not a bad lemonade, really can't complain. Then another basket came along that led me to start writing this blog; again not a bad swap, looking back this blog is miles better than what I was originally after ;) And then there was a third basket, by which time I was getting a bit fed up of this whole lemonade business, but it brought light to another synchronicity in my '11 years' story. I've mentioned earlier about some very interesting coincidences circling around the last 11 years. A few nights ago I discovered yet another very significant one. I had just drifted off to sleep after a day of realising that I was again knocking on the wrong door and getting a bit fed up of trying to open ones that were locked. I woke up in the middle of the night and switched on my phone, which I don't normally do and can't really remember why I did at this particular moment, but there was a message there waiting for me. One thing led to another and I discovered a beautiful friend of mine from America was online. She happens to have an indescribable talent of filling you with hope no matter how dreary your situation. On this very dark night she reminded me of a dream I have had for many years, since my university days, which was to visit a Native American reservation and experience in person some of the secrets of Native culture. The idea and the vision of this happening lit up my gloomy caravan like a Christmas tree. Somehow it came up in our conversation that I had been dreaming about the number 4 recently and also a while back I found a little fortune cookie note in front of my door, I have no idea where it came from but it said 'your lucky number 4 will be knocking at your door'. When I mentioned all this to this kind soul, she brought to my attention that there is a place in the US called 4 corners, where 4 states meet: Colorado, New Mexico, Utah and Arizona. I started researching places to go and very randomly a page popped up with a volunteering opportunity in the Navajo Nation, which extends over the exact same four states. A week later I had already applied to go there. Only after I had done that, I realised that 11 years ago, when my Dad passed on, I was in the middle of applying for a scholarship to the US. I still had the chance to tell him that I was hoping to go and I remember asking for his guidance from the other side towards the end of the process. That trip never materialised, but I bet you anything he's got something to do with this one! I feel like something about Native American culture is calling me home, calling all of us home. I intend to follow this strong feeling and see where this road takes me. After all they say if you follow your dreams, you discover your destiny. Signing off with an Iroqouis prayer I read every morning to bring light into my day: An Iroquois Prayer for Thanksgiving We return thanks to our mother, the earth, with sustains us. We return thanks to the rivers and streams, which supply us with water. We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines for the cure of our diseases. We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters, the beans and squash, which give us life. We return thanks to the bushes and trees, which provide us with fruit. We return thanks to the wind, which, moving the air, has banished diseases. We return thanks to the moon and the stars, which have given us their light when the sun was gone. We return thanks to our grandfather He-no, .., who has given to us his rain. We return thanks to the sun, that he has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye. Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit, in whom is embodied all goodness, and who directs all things for the good of his children.

Like the leaves of a tree...

Letting go of things that were once very dear to us can be a lengthy, time consuming process. Some days are easier and you feel all excited about your newly discovered freedom and opportunities, some days are just empty and slow, some can be quite painful, pulling you back in the past making it hard to imagine that there is a way forward... The snow blanket that greeted me this morning reminded me of another frosty morning that brought me a beautiful message from nature. Having had the chance to reconnect with nature has been one of the greatest blessings in my life. It fills me with great joy to just observe the birds, the trees, the stars and moon all of which have become my new and greatly loved neighbours on this fascinating journey. It happened on that frosty morning that the tap I usually get my water supply from was covered in ice, not allowing one drop of water to pass through, so I gathered up my little jug and welly boots and headed to the other side of the site to find a tap that wasn't frozen. As the water was filling my jug my mind wandered off to faraway places until a gently falling leaf brought my attention back to the present moment. The tree that had let go of this leaf had been a beautiful fiery orange in the previous couple of weeks, but on this day the leaf it had sent my way was one of its last ones left, preparing itself, and me for the winter quiet and slumber. I looked at the leaf and had a moment of clarity. When trees part from their leaves, they allow them to fall with grace. They don't try to pick them up again and stick them back on, holding on to them with all their might, they just let go, pure and simple... The fallen leaves eventually become one with the tree again, melting into the soil, nourishing their origin in a beautiful and magnificent way. Isn't nature sublimely wise?